Dear Reader…
Hi, I’m Martti Nelson, a comedy and satire author who digs
unicorns, gardening, and obeying the joke rule of threes. Thank you so much for
picking up Lyssa Strata, my debut novel! How amazing that you’re reading
this, since I penned the whole darn thing just for you because I want you to
reach “the end” of Lyssa and feel super inspired to overcome whatever
obstacle you’ve been up against. I know you can do it! Now hold these pom-poms
while I adjust my cheerleader skirt.
We women hear a lot of negative crap. We’re too fat, or too
thin—eat a sandwich! That’s too much makeup, but she’s wearing too little ewwwwww.
Don’t be a gold-digger! …Wait, are you making more money than your
husband? How dare you emasculate him? Have you turned older than 25? Ugh, go
die already, you disgusting old crone. We’re too tall or too short, wearing too
much (prude!) or too little (tramp!), and everyone knows that women can’t be
trusted. Don’t even get me started on the traps society throws out for our
Trans sisters.
Isn’t it fun to never win?
When we can’t perform “woman” properly for the general
public—and no, we can literally never do it correctly—it’s so easy to get
beaten down. And those societal expectations are on top of all the other crap
going wrong in life. The air conditioner broke, you got laid off, the cat is
peeing in the bed every night, nobody else in your house appears to understand the
concept of “washing” “dishes,” and your kid chucked a baseball at the teacher’s
head. Aaaaaaahhhhh! How do we even get up in the morning, never mind perform
all the ass-kicking that Hollywood assures us is in there somewhere?
Well, I, for one, agree with Hollywood. No, not that gift
packages should be weirdly wrapped so the top comes off the bottom without tearing
the paper, which is half the fun…but I agree that you have a warrior princess
inside you, my darling, and I believe in you. Which is why I wrote Lyssa
Strata. It’s why I write everything.
Lyssa battles her entire town of Athena, Massachusetts, to
gain equality under the law for women. She’s quiet, dorky, and wears way too
many brown historical garments (don’t ask)… At the beginning of Lyssa Strata,
she doesn’t believe she can affect change in Athena—exciting moves like that
are for bold women, cool women. Other women. But that’s not true! Lyssa,
like you, like me, has the ability to reach deep down, past all the negative messaging,
to be the person who pursues her dreams. She doesn’t have to be a certain
height, or come from a particular place. She’s enough all on her own.
I’ve had a lot of folks in publishing tell me that women don’t
want to read comedies. That those things are for men. They say ladies don’t
like stories of normal women going on funny adventures. What the heck? Who
doesn’t like those things? Nobody tell Leslie Knope! But I persevered through
all the no’s to get my happy yes, and thus, Lyssa Strata was born.
My ultimate goal is to make every
lady, no matter her age, origin, creed, sexuality, color, gender, or anything else,
feel like a superheroine by the time she closes the book. To hell with the
nay-sayers! I don’t listen to them, and neither should you, book friend.
PS: My last advice is
ice cream. Always ice cream.
About the Author
Martti Nelson is the author of comedy novels Lyssa Strata and Attack of the Rom-Com, which is due out later in 2021, as well as some love letters to Totino’s in honor of their fine Party Pizzas. She’s been featured on such luminous sites as Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna, Robot Butt, Daily Drunk Magazine, and Slackjaw. In addition to writing brilliant stuff that is often referred to as “stop mentioning menstruation so much,” Martti enjoys yard work with power tools that make her feel important. Martti creates funny books because she believes that humor can inspire joy, bring people together, and save the world, even in times of darkness. This bio has gotten a tad deep, so she will end on another joke. Visit her website at Martti Nelson | Writing, Parody, Satire, Nonsense.About the Book
She’s mad as hell, and she’s not gonna give it up anymore.
Librarian Lyssa Strata has long begged the Town Council of Athena, Massachusetts, to repeal its disgusting old misogynist and racist laws. But the Council, an all-male entity for 400 years, has blown her off as a redheaded spinster—who, according to a 1673 law,
should legally be run out of town at the end of a musket upon a poor fiscal year. So Lyssa seeks to invade the male bastion as the first woman ever on the Council. The men in charge treat her candidacy as a hilarious joke, which does not impress the female townsfolk.The women are damn tired of being second-class citizens. For example, it’s illegal for them to use a toaster, as the manipulation of buttons is thought to impede brainwaves and cause menstruation. They decide to wield the only power left to them: Lyssa leads them on a sex strike as a revolt against inequality. The fellas are enthusiastic supporters! LOL no, they protest and issue death threats. Yet, when the national news shows up to cover the contentious election, everyone finally starts to listen to the ladies.
In retaliation against the motley crew of sex-strikers, the Council enacts the antique laws they assured Lyssa were merely charming historical trivia. She is accused of witchcraft and thrown in the stocks! Now this bookish dork, once content to hide in the stacks and distribute quiet feminism via checkout, is burning down her torture device and sending the evils of the past to the dustbin. When you want something done, do it yourself.
Or don’t do it—they’re on a sex strike, after all.
PRAISE
“If you’ve ever wondered what it would have been like if Terry Pratchett wrote The Handmaid’s Tale, this is the book for you.” —Jenny Trout, USA Today and Internationally Bestselling Author
“Funny and rage-inducing is a tough balance but Martti Nelson has written a book that is equal parts laugh riot and just plain riot. I want be Lyssa Strata’s best friend!” —Jen Mann, New York Times Bestselling Author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat
“There’s a lot to be frustrated about: the pink tax, politics, old white guys. Nelson deftly satirizes local politics and the patriarchy in Lyssa Strata. The ladies of Athena, Massachusetts may cherish a secret, but I don’t—read this book.” —Brooke Knisley, Your Local Redheaded Succubus. Oh, and Also Writer.
“Nelson’s deliciously laugh-out-loud spin on an ancient Greek tale shreds modern-day sexism with OG feminism.” —Marta Acosta, award-winning author of the Casa Dracula series
“Fans of Parks and Recreation, rejoice—there’s a new Leslie Knope to be found in Martti Nelson’s Lyssa Strata. Packed with callbacks to the Greek myth on which it’s based, this book will make for a satisfying read for any woman who’s mad at hell at the patriarchy and isn’t going to take it anymore, but also wants a laugh a minute along the way.” —Lana Schwartz, author of Build Your Own Romantic Comedy: Pick Your Plot, Meet Your Man, and Direct Your Happily Ever After
“A wickedly clever, sly take on the Greek classic that will have you rolling in the aisles of your own home as hard as the ancient Greeks rolled in the …aisles? Of their…. Ancient theaters??? Whatever, I didn’t read the original Aristophanes and neither did you. Save yourself the trouble and read this hilarious reimagination of it instead.” —Emily Flake, Saint Nell’s Proprietrix & Cartoonist, New Yorker
“Martti Nelson has created a character in Lyssa the librarian who anyone could love, admire and relate to—one who has had enough of the BS and does something about it. This novel will make you feel alive, or at least awake.”
—Jessica Delfino, author of Amazon #1 bestseller Dumb Jokes For Smart Folks
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