Dear Reader, Love Ludwig van Beethoven

Dear Reader…

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now joyfully, and then sadly, waiting to learn whether fate will hear us. I can live with you totally or not at all. Yes, I am resolved to wander so far away from you until that moment when I can throw myself into your arms and say that I am really at home with you. And I can send my soul wrapped in your presence to the land of spirits. Yes, unhappily there is no other way. You will not give in, since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart, never, never. . . .

Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks? Can our love endure except through sacrifices? Can we do anything to alter the fact that you are not wholly mine, and I am not wholly yours? Oh God, look at the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be. Love demands everything and rightly so. Thus it is for me with you, and for you with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you. If we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I do?

But today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life. If our hearts were always close together, I would scarcely have made such observations. My heart is full of so many things to share with you . . .

Ah, there are moments when I feel that words amount to nothing. Have courage, remain my true, my only treasure, my all, as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be ordained. . . .

You are suffering. Oh, wherever I am, you are with me. I would arrange it so that we can live together. What a life! Thus! But without you—pursued by the goodness of mankind here and there—which as little I deserve or want to. The humility of man towards man pains me. And when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I? And what is he whom we call the greatest? Within us lies the divinity of all.

 Oh God, why must I be parted from the one I so love. And yet my life in Vienna is now a wretched one. Your love makes me at once both the happiest and the unhappiest of men. At my age I need a steady, quiet life. Is that possible in our situation?

My angel, I have just been told that the mail coach goes every day, therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter without delay. Be calm, for only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our goal of living together. Be calm.

Love me today, yesterday . . . .

What tearful longings for you, you, you. My life, my all. Farewell. Never cease to love me. Never misjudge this most faithful heart of your beloved.

Ever yours . . . Ever mine . . . Ever ours. . . .”

Ever faithfully yours,

Ludwig van Beethoven

About the Author

Howard Jay Smith is an award-winning writer from Santa Barbara, California. BEETHOVEN IN LOVE; OPUS 139 is his third book. A former Washington, D.C. Commission for the Arts Fellow, & Bread Loaf Writers Conference Scholar, he taught for many years in the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program and has lectured nationally. His short stories, articles and photographs have appeared in the Washington Post, Horizon Magazine, the Journal of the Writers Guild of America, the Ojai Quarterly, and numerous literary and trade publications. While an executive at ABC Television, Embassy TV, and Academy Home Entertainment, he worked on numerous film, television, radio, and commercial projects. He serves on the Board of Directors of the Santa Barbara Symphony - "The Best Small City Symphony in America" -  and is a member of the American Beethoven Society.




About the Book:

Author: Howard Jay Smith
Publisher: SYQ
Pages: 385
Genre: Literary Fiction/Biographical Fiction

At the moment of his death, Ludwig van Beethoven pleads with Providence to grant him a final wish—one day, just a single day of pure joy. But first he must confront the many failings in his life, so the great composer and exceedingly complex man begins an odyssey into the netherworld of his past life led by a spirit guide who certainly seems to be Napoleon, who died six years before. This ghost of the former emperor, whom the historical Beethoven both revered and despised, struggles to compel the composer to confront the ugliness as well as the beauty and accomplishments of his past. 
As Beethoven ultimately faces the realities of his just-ended life, we encounter the women who loved and inspired him. In their own voices, we discover their Beethoven—a lover with whom they savor the profound beauty and passion of his creations. And it’s in the arms of his beloveds that he comes to terms with the meaning of his life and experiences the moment of true joy he has always sought.

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