Dear Reader, Love Gina Heumann

Dear Reader…

My family and I suffered through hell for over a decade after adopting our second child. While my friends referred to my first son as “the stepford child” due to his easy temperament and wonderful manners, I assumed it was our stellar parenting abilities. When the second came along, angry and violent, I realized that something was off. All the traditional parenting techniques worked on my first kid, and none of them worked for the second.

We spent many years trying to uncover exactly what this mental illness was and how to treat it. After many tries at therapy (individual therapy, group therapy, parenting classes, play therapy, art therapy, in-home therapy… you name it!) and all sorts of alternative treatments, he continued to get more challenging and frustrating as he grew bigger and stronger. Life in our home became dangerous and scary, and we were frequently embarrassed and alone. He was eventually kicked out of middle school, sent to the juvenile assessment center, and given a ticket for assaulting a teacher. We consider this “rock bottom” and there, we received a recommendation for the therapist who eventually helped us succeed. Between a family intensive two-week therapy session and an amazing therapeutic school environment, we managed to overcome the violence, anger, and anxiety that is typical of reactive attachment disorder (RAD).

My goal for this book was to shed some light on this rare and serious disorder, help people understand that childhood trauma can have lasting effects, and highlight the pitfalls of the mental health system. I also wanted to inspire other parents who are struggling with challenging children and demonstrate that you can never give up trying to help someone you love.

Continuing to love a child that is angry and violent, despite daily calls from school, broken electronics, and destruction of property is not easy. We, as a family, had to dig deep and practice unending optimism that we would someday find a magical cure. And I know that we are the lucky ones. Many families touched by RAD have to annul their adoptions, relinquish their foster kids, or resign themselves to the fact that their children will end up in jail someday. This is the same diagnosis that was attributed to Nikolas Cruz, the school shooter from Parkland, Florida, and I feared this might be my son’s future.

I hope that you read our story with an open mind and open heart, and remember that what you see in public isn’t always the whole story. Since the book was released, I’ve been amazed by the positive response, as well as the number of friends and neighbors who’ve commented on how “normal” we appeared! You never know what’s going on inside someone’s home, so always try to be kind.

Next time you see a mom struggling, give her a hug! It might be what she needs to get through a difficult day. Cheers to all the RAD moms out there who continue to fight the good fight every single day.

With love and strength,

Gina

About the Author

Gina Heumann is a true Renaissance woman: wife, mother, architect, designer, instructor, author, speaker, and sales rep for an award-winning Napa Valley winery. She and her husband, Aaron, adopted Landrey in 2001 from Guatemala and then went back for Maddox three years later. Gina’s love of learning and dedication as a mother inspired her research of different treatments and therapies that eventually led to this inspirational success story about conquering Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Her latest book is Love Never Quits: Surviving & Thriving After Infertility, Adoption, and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

WEBSITE & SOCIAL LINKS:

Website Link: www.ginaheumann.com

Facebook Link: https://www.facebook.com/loveneverquits

About the Book:

WHACK… At three in the morning Gina was sound asleep, yet somehow she was smacked in the head. She looked over at her husband, thinking perhaps he accidentally rolled over and flopped his

arm on top of her, but he was sleeping soundly and facing the opposite direction. She turned to the other side and glaring back at her was her eight-year-old child.

“Did you just hit me?”

“Yes, and I’d do it again.”

“Whyyyy?”

“Because you took away my video games.”

“That was EIGHT HOURS AGO. And you’re still mad about it?”

“I wish I could kill you.”

This is the true story of the hell one family lived through parenting a child with reactive attachment disorder, a severe diagnosis related to children who experienced early-childhood trauma.

This inspirational story covers over a decade of daily struggles until they finally found resolution and made it to the other side. The family remained intact, and this once challenging son is now achieving things never thought possible. 

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