This book, like most books I guess, has been swirling in my mind for a while now. Like most ‘How To’ books, you have questions and thoughts, and over time, you work out answers, try them on friends and decide they are good enough to tell everyone else.
Which is exactly what happened to me and this book.
How can I not be interested in relationship with the man I love?
But there are a few things that have really bugged me over the years.
Firstly I haven’t quite bought into the complete separation of men and women. What I mean by this is that though I have read books like Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, and though I used to in my teen years soak in how Cosmopolitan was telling me how to keep a man happy every month, I never quite felt sure that the separation between the genders was so great.
What I’m trying to say is that I notice that both male and female friends, all of whom I care for dearly, were actually saying the same thing. And worse than that a lot of it was buying into the idea that relationships were doomed from the start because of the gender difference.
And yet I heard the same arguments from each side. So how different are we really? Do relationships fail because we are different genders?
Certainly my gay friends have proven this not to be the case. Their own trials and traumas equal any straight persons journey into love.
I watched myself in relationships. How they work when they work and how they hurt and fail as they topple over into the abyss.
And still I wondered. Why is this so very hard.
But I’m jumping to an end that I don’t even know the answer to. I don’t understand why things are so hard. But what I am able to do is one big thing. I am able, as a woman, to tell you, the male who loves their woman, how to do one thing a week and experience how this will make a difference.
I do not try to explain why. It’s psychobabble and at the end of the day it only matters if it works.
So I wrote this book. Part 1 is the survey I did of over 100 women and their answers about romance. This was to offer some anecdotal evidence, but also I wanted to stop this idea that a man must have money to make a woman ‘happy’. (I put ‘happy’ in inverted commas because happy is really a personal pursuit – but that’s another book).
For now this book, small and concise, yet took years and many drafts to put together, starts with the anecdotes and then gives you the reader one action per week for 21 weeks to keep that relationship you want so much not only to work but to work better.
After all this book’s value is only in the outcome of doing the actions and reaping the benefits.
The only thing that I will have to argue one day is why I tell you, the man who loves his woman, why he must not, under any circumstances, let her know he is following a book. This must be a secret between you and me.
About the Author
Alba is an author, comedy podcaster, strategist in the not for profit center, a certified de bono effective thinker and many other things. Curious about choices and life situations Alba’s books offer the reader a chance to enter fictional and her factional worlds to have fun, encounter themselves, and perhaps even recognise the chances to change.
Her latest book is the self-help book, Relationship Maintenance 4 Men.
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About the Book:
Title: RELATIONSHIP MAINTENANCE 4 MEN
Author: Alba Lewis
Author: Alba Lewis
A practical guide to support men who love their women with 21 tasks, one each week.
Written a ‘just do’ guide and based on a survey conducted with over 100 women, the book aims to give actionable tasks that will create better relationships.